Wrongness

Why is it that when people are proven wrong, they have to clutch at straws and make up some bullshit excuse to make their point seem valid to them?  I’m not talking about opinions or trends — that would be arrogance — but cold hard facts.  I’ve already talked about how people power can affect anything, in large numbers, but that was about music sales and what’s popular and whatnot, what I’m on about now is the correct usage of apostrophes.  Yes, that was the first thing I covered but you think when I point out that mistake, they’d happily accept it and know the drill next time, in my dreams it would seem.

RAGE

Is this how bad the world is, people can’t accept the facts and would rather argue in favour of being wrong?  It’s not a moral dilemma, don’t give a shit about them, it’s a little mark that’s used to denote omission or possession.  I see potatoes spelt as potato’s, you could argue that’s right because you’re omitting the e.  That’s not what the culprit had in mind, they saw a word ending in s and thought an apostrophe should automatically go before it so let’s use an uncontentious example, in the same context; jackets and jacket’s.  If someone points out a mistake I made, I don’t argue with them or come up with some bollocks reasoning as to why their point shouldn’t be considered, I acknowledge it and correct it, not dismiss it.  Quite a few times I’ve done that to people but all they say in return is ‘how much work have you done?’ Irrelevantly, I haven’t done enough to know what is grammatically considered right or wrong, dickheads.

It’s similar to refereeing, albeit refs aren’t your peers and have power over you; they make a mistake, it’s final and they can’t overturn it.  You argue with them because they’re wrong, you’re cautioned for “dissent”.  That’s one prime example of not being able to handle the pressure and your superiority complex kicking in, punish others for your own undoing.  I’ll be afraid one day that’ll get into a fight with someone who thinks the sky’s green and can’t come to terms with it being blue, shake my mother fucking head.  They say GCSEs are getting easier and easier and no fucking wonder, how can exam boards let that apostrophe abuse slip through the net?  The “graduates” probably think being wrong is right because they passed by being wrong, getting awarded a piece of card which they can use as a certificate of authority.  Then again, in an RE exam, I did put that Joseph baptised Jesus and that got marked correctly.  Something I missed there?  Did I miss that episode of QI, did Joseph baptise the resurrected Christ?  Who knows…

Writing

That I’ve gone back to college to interactive media, the boring side of it — annotating and writing up research — has put me off updating my blog a bit.  I admittedly think this was fun over the summer but college has reignited my detestment for writing lengthy things, it’s a pain in the arse.  Not to mention it has drastically cut the amount of free time I now have at my disposal.

This isn’t a farewell post, things still piss me off so no one’s seen the last of me.  Unless I die or better, lose my arms or develop a neurological disorder etc, I will be back.  This isn’t the last you’ve heard about my education either, definitely bring it up in one of my next few posts so brace yourselves…

Recent lack of pics too.  So have some of my basic college Photoshop work.

Trolls

I have no idea of the modern, slang meaning of the term — I know it is a hairy, horrible-looking thing in Scandinavian folklore but these days, what is a troll?

I originally thought it was a compliment to someone who successfully infuriates others and has the firepower to carry on, because they have a point to put across even if it is an absurd one.  Now, common usage refers to anyone who says contentious things, in an attempt to wind up, but usually cannot back up their point and does one because of others retaliating and belittling them.

Ever since it has gained this new meaning, the pronunciation has seemed to changed.  The orange things with big fluorescent hair — you almost always got in your Sugar Puffs in the 1990s to put on top of your pencils — was pronounced like it rhymed with ‘toll’, the “edgy” people is pronounced like it rhymes with ‘role’.

So my meaning, to put it hypothetically, is someone armed with an AK47 because they can powerfully keep on returning the fire, as that’s what original new wave of trolls were doing.  The media’s meaning is someone who only has a hypothetical plastic disposable knife, one jab and they can do fuck all else afterwards, until they return from a hypothetical Wilkinsons with another hypothetical party cutlery pack.

Is this another case of word abuse, where one gets misused so much by incoherent fools that it garners a new meaning; or my mind going whoop de loop?

A Question

If you didn’t witness something, did it really happen?

Anyone who thinks yes and it’s a dumb question are dumb themselves, what do you think scepticism is?  Are there things you are unsure about?  That’s the beauty of it.  You know I’m a football nut, so people say they saw Mario Balotelli dressed as Santa, handing gifts out in Manchester at Christmas time last year but he said he didn’t do it.  Only last month, a part of Essex was cordened off because of a reported lion on the loose.  It turned out the images that sparked the panic were a close-up of your typical ginger cat and a lion Photoshopped onto a dark photo from mobile phone.

I’m sceptical about those gift referral website thingies, where you get others to sign up and you get a free iPhone after a certain number is reached.  They always have pics of people posing with their newly gained items, along with a message by them praising the site, as “proof” but how do I know they’re not stooges?  I don’t want to find out for myself because I don’t trust those websites, god knows who I’m giving my details out to.

So yeah, don’t jump to conclusions flaunting your self-arrogance, it will only backfire.  Swivel.

Consolence

Ugh, it is really cringing when you read people give messages of condolences and pity to others who they don’t know.  Today’s front page of the Manchester Evening News is nothing but messages from self-righteous and patronising twats leaving messages to two police women who were killed the other day.  Now the paper is now in the hands of Trinity Mirror, passed on from the Guardian Media Group, it has become a tabloid-style pile of crap suited to your fat, balding, brick-laying, tattooed, vest-wearing armchair “coming over here, taking our jobs” xenophobes, who think England have a god-given right to be in every World Cup final.

These officers haven’t done anything of note in their career of law enforcing, they don’t really deserve such praise as “thank you for keeping us safe from harm”, “died trying to protect us” and “heroes live forever”.  Police at major events barely do that, they maintain order and attempt to keep trouble-makers at bay, much like bouncers and security guards.  Granted if a maniac starts attacking someone for no reason and they intervene, they are protecting the innocent one.  If I break up a fight, does that make me a hero?  No, I’ll get into trouble for getting involved.

It makes me sad I live near people like that.

My family’s experience with the police has been shit, they take forever to come, jot stuff down on a notepad when they do and fuck all else.  They’re better when you’re on the wrong end of an offence, bearing in mind it was a very petty one — sneaking onto a bowling green at night and pissing about on it until they arrived.  They thought we were running away, we weren’t, we were getting our trousers.  It was a good laugh, they name checked us to make sure we’ve not been naughty before, we asked if they know any of our parents because two of them were in the force and one had her own TV show the year prior.

It’s like the Tom Daley Twitter scandal when some kid dissed his dead dad, cue every British teenage girl saying “you did your dad and country proud”, fucking hell…  He didn’t do me proud, I wasn’t arsed and dead people don’t have the ability to convey emotion.  You gotta bear in mind that people back then, who despise sport — much like those girls — were on the Olympic bandwagon.  It’s a shame when morals take precedence over your own common sense and intelligence, there’s no hope for these people at all.

On the flipside, literally; tears of happiness.

Songs from 2000

Songs I recall that were too late to be classed as from the 1990s.  Same criteria but one list and I’m not limiting myself to a certain total:

  • a1 – Take on Me
  • All Saints – Pure Shores
  • Andreas Johnson – Glorious
  • Baha Men – Who Let the Dogs Out?
  • Bomfunk MC’s – Freestyler
  • Britney Spears – Oops!… I Did It Again
  • Daphne and Celeste –  Ooh Stick You
  • Darude – Sandstorm
  • David Gray – Babylon
  • Destiny’s Child – Independent Woman
  • Eminem – The Real Slim Shady
  • Five + Queen – We Will Rock You
  • Jakatta – American Dream
  • Kyle Minogue – Spinning Around
  • LeAnn Rimes – Can’t Fight the Moonlight
  • Madison Avenue – Don’t Call Me Baby
  • Madonna – Music
  • Moby – Porcelain
  • Modjo – Lady (Hear Me Tonight)
  • Robbie Williams – Rock DJ
  • Ronan Keating – Life Is a Rollercoaster
  • S Club 7 – Reach
  • Shaggy ft. RikRok – It Wasn’t Me
  • Spiller ft. Sophie Ellis-Bextor – Groovejet (If This Ain’t Love)
  • Sweet Female Attitude – Flowers
  • Tom Jones & Mousse T. – Sex Bomb
  • Toploader – Dancing in the Moonlight
  • U2 – Beautiful Day
  • York – On the Beach

It sure looks incomplete to me, probably some obvious omissions will rehit my head soon.

Starstruck

Two weeks ago, August 31st 2012, transfer deadline day, I went to the Trafford Centre looking for camping supplies and you know full well how that went — that’s not the whole of the story, believe me.  First, I tried Asda opposite, it’s a massive store but they had nowt so I got two packs of potato cakes instead, for a quid.  After that, I went to TC to search for a shop which specialises in camping gear, had a check on the interactive store guide inside and it pointed me to a Blacks.  Looked around and couldn’t find it, turned out it was replaced by a North Face shop.  You know what happened there, overpriced tat that would get hardly used — unless you’re Ray Mears and live in the rainforests of Borneo.

THAT is a potato cake, why do the rest of the world think one’s a hash brown?

So to no avail, I went in search for a vital piece of clothing; football socks.  In the country, it gets awfully colder than it does in the suburban jungle of any city at this time of year although these last few years, September and the transition to autumn have been hotter than summer itself.  The socks I usually wore that keep me warm during cold snaps — an England home pair from 2005 — were thrown away by my mum before she kicked me out and fucked off to a part of Derbyshire nowhere near to where I was staying, but where I was is more or less equidistant to her new house and our old one.  So yeah, I bought the 2012-13 Manchester United European home socks — which are mislabeled as the away socks, both white but they have their obvious differences — at JJB for a tenner.  As I walked out of the store, along with another guy, the security alarm set off.  We looked at each other confused not knowing who set it off, turned out to be me as the tool at the checkout took off the security tag but left on the security sticker.  After that ordeal, I set off home unfazed by that moment of madness.

The part I am still unsure about was what happened in between those events, I swear a certain individual walked by me and went into a shop I cannot recall for the life of me.  That individual, in my eyes, was none other than Manchester United midfielder and Scotland captain Darren Fletcher.  To this day I’m still unconvinced it was him, was it because I couldn’t believe what was before my eyes?  The shopping centre is a celebrity hotbed; I saw Spanish permbearer Ivan Campo in 2004 in a headband, the gay couple from Channel 5 usually plod about there, and Gok Wan uses the stage at the Orient to parade hags before opening hours for his Channel 4 show.  This guy, he was blonde, had a bit of a stubble going on, his ears were sticky outy but were small and he was donning a grey tracksuit.  He’s one of my favourite players for United and it made me sad when he contracted a career-threatening illness almost a year ago, with Paul Scholes retired and Fletch out I dunno who would be my new favourite player at the club, thank god Scholesy reversed his decision in January.  As he walked in to that shop, he just looked back as if he was with someone who’s dordling behind and that’s when I caught his face.

I warmed his seat up in the Old Trafford dressing room.

On that day, the United squad were due for the team photoshoot at Old Trafford just a 5 minute drive away, so he could have returned from that to do his shopping.  Using my heliology skills, the sun is behind the East Stand so the shoot must have been in the morning, making it possible for Super Fletch to be at the Trafford Centre in the afternoon.  I really hope it was him anyway because to write all this about some no-mark, well what a waste of time it would be but he can be proud that someone put in all this effort.

Jokes

Carrying on from earlier, they’re not that great either, they’re mostly cheap.  The ones that are funny are those that are so bad they are good (why was the computer cold?  Because somebody opened Windows) and ones that offend the wrong crowd (what’s the difference between Cockneys and Smarties?  Smarties don’t blow up in the tube).  I’m shit at making them up, the best I’ve come up with I think is ‘what’s the difference between Heather Mills and the League Cup semi-final?  The League Cup semi-final has two legs’.

It is mostly punchline-based ones that are crap, not really any substance to them, even the long ones that drag on forever.  Like I’ve said; just because they make people laugh, it doesn’t mean they’re funny, or should that be; just because they’re funny, it doesn’t mean they’re good?  I’m confused myself, here.  It’s a case of ‘it’s funny because it’s true’ I reckon, it’s not funny because it’s not true.  I’m not hard-headed, for something to be really funny, it needs to be well-written, not be based on hit-and-miss punchlines.  That’s why I’ll never cut it as a comedian, why should I dumb down so that simpletons can “get it”?

Brand Loyalty

Should have mentioned this earlier, dunno why I didn’t.  Oh well…

What brought it to my attention was the talk about the iPhone 5, Apple fanboys everywhere raving on about it on their iPhone 4Ss yet there’s much better products on the market, namely the Samsung Galaxy.  The only worthwhile feature on the new iPhone is the 4G capability, most of the other features are bog standard.  One thing that Apple like to do with their products now is sabotage them and make them worse, getting into spats with software companies; like with Adobe with Flash and now ridding Google Maps from their devices.  Companies like Apple deliberately hold back or downgrade certain features on their devices, until they release a new upgraded model of what you just bought a few months later.  It’s an incentive for the iHerd to buy their swanky new devices, so you’re made to feel uncool and unpopular when you’re lagging behind the other so-called cool cats.

The iPod isn’t like your standard MP3 player — like your phone or a generic one you can get from Argos — where you can copy tracks straight from your computer and there you go, no.  The iPod only works with iTunes and both need to be synced up to the same system, you can only sync it once to put all the songs on but if you delete one from your library and resync your iPod, the song will be gone from your device.  It may sound good at first, all this syncing, but it still copies over each track and its entire file capacity.  Another issue with syncing is that it will replace all your songs with others, if you have more music on your system than the device can handle.  That’s why I manually manage my music and make sure there’s not enough room on my iPod for it to be automatically managed, usually a staggering 50MB.  When you attempt to sync your iPod without that free 50MB, the play count on iTunes updates nonetheless — the only plus point to the whole thing, if you have a small iPod that only carries a fraction of your library.

He died to try to put an end to this.

I got my iPod as a gift for my birthday last year, iTunes is a top-notch music player and Macs, dunno, not used one for years but apparently they’re user-friendlier than PCs and are better for creative people who like to piss around with PhotoShop and other editing software, like me.  Most people who want Apple products are brand loyal mugs who think they are cool and alternative, buying every iPrefixed product there is and ripping themselves off.  They wouldn’t know a better gadget if it hit them in the face, as it doesn’t have an apple symbol on the back of it nor it’s an iSomething.  The iPad is the biggest waste of time, it’s an oversized iPhone with fewer features, it’s no coincidence that it appealed to iMugs and iDicks alike.

I’m happy with my BlackBerry, it may have 10 apps available for it but it’s not a touchscreen, I don’t want my grubby fingers mucking up the display and to calibrate it every so often.  Though is that one price you are willing to pay?

Internet Culture

The web is being ruined by little kids being a bunch of shits, who don’t know how to use it.  They think they’re hilarious posting photos of cats with a deliberately misspelt caption on it, using a load of supposed facial icons that are an eyesore, replace letters with numbers, abuse punctuation and abuse words like ‘epic’.  To everyone else, they are nothing more than insufferable pricks who are inept of reality.  I have no idea what they are trying to gain or prove by doing this apart from being dickheads, scoring brownie points off each other probably.  These people are exactly the same in reality, they think they are so random but no, they’re wee gobshites who you just want to thump in the face.  A “craze” brought about by fat, spotty, teenage Yanks in the mid ’00s, being how cultureless Americans are, probably trying to give themselves an identity once and for all.  I visit about 5 or 6 websites regularly, and ones where you interact with others, they aren’t plagued by these parasites thank fuck, because I know pretty much everyone on them.  but on ones where the public have access, like YouTube, these mongs are fucking everywhere.  They are a cancer on the world wide web.

These people serve no purpose, all they ever do on is say “that was FAIL!!!!!!! XD :L” on video comments, how can anyone comprehend that?  After a bit of asking around, ‘XD’ and ‘:L’ signify laughing.  I don’t really see it in truth; the former is the face I pull when I’m trying to push out a stubborn shit, the latter is having a stroke.  On forums, where you can include images, they post the same pictures over and over again; which are either crudely drawn faces in Paint, pictures with a superimposed caption that’s meant to be funny to them, or both.  One other habit they have is greeting others with ‘hai’, you’ve gayed up ‘hi’ by making it longer because it’s cool and funny to misspell?  What about ‘hy’ instead?  Not that I condone it but it’s just as short and phonetically identical.

It’s scientific fact that if you laughed at that, you’re a spastic.

With the advances of technology and that everyone can record everything pretty easily nowadays, the first waves of them are now using it as an opportunity to film themselves.  Take KSIOlajidebt (free plug), all he does is speak over footage of someone playing FIFA in a weird tone, flashes these internet phrases across the video and has a strange obsession with one-time Liverpool hero Emile Heskey.  The only people who he appeals to are these internet pricks and it’s scary how many mongs he attracts — to be frank he has an amazing portfolio if he wants to work on kids television; 7 year olds love strange voices, wacky flashy thingies and a notable protagonist.  When it’s 16 year olds into that shit, questions need to be asked regarding their mental health.  It’s people like these who succumb to online paedophiles so easily, they’re that stupid and gullible.  That is the process of natural selection.

They affect online gaming too; all you ever hear on Call of Duty are 12 year olds with squeaky voices shouting through their headsets, playing a game franchise that’s usually rated 18.  I love to piss them (and everyone else) off with my tactical way of playing, they send me messages having a go at me for not playing fairly — even though I am, their shit for brains are bitter towards anything that is better than them — so I ask them why are they playing an 18-rated game at a young age and why do they pussy out because they’re losing.  If it’s practical, there should be a test everyone has to do to filter out these plebs online.  If any slip the net, paedophiles can target them and deter others; that is how the internet can be cured from this horrible cancer.

  • September 2012
    M T W T F S S
     12
    3456789
    10111213141516
    17181920212223
    24252627282930
  • Recent Posts